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More Than Words Can Say, Chapter 33

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27, Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32

Anita pulled into her driveway, just making it before the tears really started. She turned the car off and dropped her head to the steering wheel. "Anita, you idiot. What did you just do? You just let the best thing that's ever happened to you go." She banged her head into the steering wheel a few times. She let out a big sigh. She grabbed her keys and her purse and headed into her house.

When she got in the house, she immediately saw the light flashing on her answering machine. She hit play and listened as she threw her purse and keys on the coffee table. "Hey, Anita, it's Olivia. I take it since you're not home yet that your little get-together is going well. Call me and fill me in when you get home. Even if it's 2am! Bye!"

Anita flopped herself down on the couch. Tears were threatening to spill just thinking about everything that happened. She really needed to talk to someone. Someone needed to tell her she had been right to do what she did. She picked up the phone and dialed Olivia's number. After a few rings, she picked up.

"Anita! How did it go?" And that's when she lost it. The dam broke and tears ran down her face, her breathing hitched and she just started bawling. Olivia was confused. "Ani? What happened? What did he say? What's wrong?"

Anita sucked in her breath and managed to squeak out, "Liv." Her crying continued with the same force as when it began.

"Anita? I'm on my way. I'll see you in a little bit." Anita just nodded her head at her friend. "Hold on, okay?" Anita waited for her to hang up before she put the phone down.

Nearly forty minutes later and Anita was sitting on the couch, tissues in hand and Olivia was bringing a cup of tea in to her. She set the cup down on the coffee table and went back for her own cup.

"Now, tell me what happened. Why are you so upset?" She turned to face her heartbroken friend. Anita relayed the nights events to her. "Wow, Ani, I... I don't really know what to say to that. He said he loves you?" Anita nodded her head in the affirmative. "So, do you love him?"

Anita sighed. "I don't know. I mean, I shouldn't. I really shouldn't be able to. We barely know each other. But, still..."

"But, still, you know that you do. Look. I can't tell if he really loves you, and only you know if you really, truly love him, but I can see why you did what you did." She tilted her head to make better eye contact with Anita. "But I don't think it's what you really want."

"Of course it's not what I want. But it's so much easier for both of us this way. How is it supposed to work out if we're on two different continents?"

"Anita." Olivia had her stern voice on now. "Are you willing to forgo your happiness, both of your happiness, just because it's easier?" Anita dropped her head. "Since when did you like to take the easy way out? I think you're trying to save yourself some pain, but both you and I know that's not going to happen. You're going to mope around here for months, maybe longer, because you're not happy with letting him go for good." She could tell Anita was about to start crying again. She scooted closer to her friend. "Look, Anita, I'm not trying to make you feel bad about the decision you made. I'm not trying to make you change your mind, even though I've been silently rooting for the two of you since you met. I just want you to think about all the consequences of either action before you make a final decision. I know you, Anita, and I know you'll be heartbroken for a very long time if you leave things like this. I don't want to see you go through that again. I just want you to think about everything before you let him go home. I'll support you no matter what you decide, but I want you to think things through first."

Anita knew that Olivia was right. Damn it, why did she always have to be the sensible one that thought everything out from every angle? Why did she always make Anita look at every angle before making a decision? Anita sighed. Why did she always have to be right? "I know you're right. I'll think things through, as if I could stop thinking about it." She dropped her head into her hands. "I just wish this wasn't so hard. I feel like no matter what, I'm going to get hurt and wish I went the other way."

"Yeah, well, no one ever said that being in love was easy." A small smile found its way to Anita's face. "Are you going to be okay now? You want me to stay a while?"

"No, I'll be okay. You go home and get some rest."

"Okay. You call if there's anything you need, if you want to talk some more. You know I'm always here for you."

"I know. Thank you." They both stood and hugged. Just before Olivia stepped out the door, Anita called to her. "Hey." She turned to look at Anita. "Really, thank you."

Olivia smiled at her. "Anytime, hun. You know you're like a sister to me." Anita smiled. "Alright. I'm out. I'll talk to you later."